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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29256654">calloused lyrics</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/delta_trevino/pseuds/delta_trevino'>delta_trevino</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Given (Anime), Given (Manga)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Character Study, Explicit Consent, Fluff, M/M, Post Confession, spoilers if you haven't seen the movie or read up to chapter 28ish</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 01:21:54</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,080</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29256654</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/delta_trevino/pseuds/delta_trevino</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Now he’s still in love with Akihiko, but it’s as if all his infatuation has been stripped away. He loves Akihiko for who he is, all the deep flaws and sporadic tendencies, not just his looks and talent Haruki once put on a high pedestal.</p><p>Or, Akihiko and Haruki walk home together peacefully with cigarettes and unwritten song lyrics.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kaji Akihiko/Nakayama Haruki</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>52</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>calloused lyrics</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>this is therapy because i watched the movie and feels</p><p>scales of intensity: </p><p>fluff: 6.5/10<br/>angst: 3/10<br/>lemon: 1/10 (they hold hands, okay?)</p><p>tw: cigarettes (mention)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It’s a chilly evening. Or extremely early morning. Spring’s just around the corner. Haruki and Akihiko are walking home together, feet in step, back to Haruki’s apartment. Even though it takes over an hour from the studio, Haruki doesn’t mind. It’s peaceful.</p><p>They started walking instead of taking Haruki’s truck after it had a maintenance issue and was down for a week. Akihiko had gestured towards the sidewalk when the subway had been particularly crowded and they haven’t looked back. Well, it depends on their schedule, but usually once a week Akihiko walks Haruki back to his apartment. </p><p>“For Ueno’s new song, Mafuyu asked me to work on the lyrics.” Haruki’s bass is slung over his shoulders. His fingers still tingle from the new riffs they tried off today. It focuses on minor chords. </p><p>“The lyrics?” Akihiko’s surprised. </p><p>“Yeah, I don’t know why. Maybe he has another song he wants to work on,” Haruki says. Mafuyu’s been the most active member of the band lately, even dabbling in English pop songs and classical piano for melody reference. </p><p>“He’s been focussed on guitar recently.” Akihiko takes his lighter out. He flicks it on and off, the flame holding Haruki’s attention. </p><p>“True.” Mafuyu asked Haruki the other day about basic progression chords. He sighs, pulling out his pack of cigarettes. “It’s hard being in a band with geniuses.” </p><p>Akihiko holds his hand above the tiny flame. He waves his hand through the yellow flame, the thinnest layer between his hand and the nozzle. The first time he did that, Haruki freaked out.</p><p>Haruki sticks a cigarette in the corner of his mouth. “Want one?” </p><p>“Sure.” Akihiko takes a step towards him, holding the lighter up. They stop in the middle of the road that’s devoid of any cars, and any light. Today they’re taking a more rural path. “Can I?”</p><p>Haruki nods. “Mmm,” he says around the cigarette. </p><p>Akihiko flicks the lighter on, holding it steady to light Haruki’s cigarette. He’s close enough for Haruki to see the flame reflect off his lip piercing, and the focussed lit in his eyes even though it’s almost one in the morning. </p><p>Once his is lit, he reaches up and connects the end of his cigarette to Akihiko’s. He has to wait for a few seconds for the flame to transfer, and in that moment, Haruki’s very aware of how close Akihiko is to him. </p><p>He’s always aware of how close Akihiko is to him, or where they’re touching. Just innocent touches, like a hand to the back, or fingers brushing when Akihiko passes him music sheets, or encompassing hugs when one of them has had a bad day. </p><p>It’s funny, now that Akihiko rarely touches him without explicitly asking, Haruki feels the urge to reach out more. Sometimes he finds himself hoping Akihiko will take his hand, like a goddamn high schooler, when he’s perfectly capable of initiating that himself. He’s 23, thank you very much.</p><p>Akihiko takes a puff of his cigarette once it’s lit, resuming their walk. “Thank you.” </p><p>Haruki nods.</p><p>“Have any ideas for the lyrics?”</p><p>Haruki shakes his head. “I know Mafuyu gets inspiration from asking around and his relationships but I’m not sure.”</p><p>“You could write about me,” Akihiko says. Haruki’s mouth opens and closes. He has. But he’s not sure if he still identifies with the song since it was from a few months ago, before everything. </p><p>“Just kidding.” Akihiko takes a puff of his cigarette. “What about your exes?”</p><p>Haruki shakes his head. “They aren’t exactly song writing material.” And it would be weird now that he’s got Akihiko. </p><p>“I see,” Akihiko says. </p><p>It’s quiet on their walks. In between comments on the river and talk about festivals—Haruki suggested going to see the fireworks together next time—their steps fill the silence. Occasionally on these walks Akihiko hums his violin solos, Haruki plays music quietly for them or they talk about this and that. Even though Haruki’s legs usually hurt the next day from the hour of unsolicited walking, the train pales in comparison to this. </p><p>“Haruki?” Akihiko asks as they cross train tracks.</p><p>“Yeah?” Haruki turns towards him. </p><p>“Can I—” </p><p>Akihiko turns away. </p><p>“Can you what?” Besides the faint birds in the distance, the silence around them feels like a pond. Talking too loud would create loud ripples and disturb the peace. </p><p>Akihiko takes a long drag of his cigarette. </p><p>“Can I hold your hand?”</p><p>Haruki’s hands fly to his face. He knows it’s beet red, lines of blush and even though it’s dark and shadows are obscuring his face, Akihiko will be able to see the way Haruki’s flustered. Even though he hoped for this, it’s so much more intimidating with Akihiko <em> right there, </em> and asking with that hopeful but guarded voice.</p><p>“Sorry.” Akihiko also takes no pretty well too, nodding and sticking his hands in his pockets when Haruki doesn’t want to be touched, or it’s too much at the moment. </p><p>But Haruki wants to right now. Just a little. Not as much as before, when their band first formed and Akihiko was still in love with Ugetsu. Now, it’s quieter, but just as demanding, convincing Haruki into stealing a few seconds of Akihiko’s time for an extra “good luck,” or, “have a good day.” Now he’s still in love with Akihiko, but it’s as if all his infatuation has been stripped away. He loves Akihiko for who he is, all the deep flaws and sporadic tendencies, not just his looks and talent Haruki once put on a high pedestal.</p><p>“No, no, no, it’s not like that,” Haruki says in a rush. He sticks out his hand ungracefully. “Yeah, you can, or we can, or, yeah.” Nevermind, Akihiko will be able to see how he’s flustered already. </p><p>“Okay.” Akihiko takes his hand. Both of them have calluses on their fingertips that dig into the back of the other’s hand. Haruki’s got his from the guitar, playing frets and the riffs this afternoon, whereas Akihiko’s come from plucking the violin and his rigorous practice schedule. Whenever their hands shift slightly, fingers laced together, Haruki can feel the tangible imprints music leaves on them. </p><p>“This okay?” Akihiko asks, and Haruki realizes he’s standing up board-straight. He forces himself to relax.</p><p>“Yeah,” Haruki says. He laughs a little. “This is okay.” </p><p>Akihiko nods. “I’m glad.” </p><p><em> Me too. </em> Haruki’s cheeks are still red. <em> Me too. </em></p><p>Maybe he does have something to write about for his new song.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>*watches their confession scene three million times* it's for research i swear</p></blockquote></div></div>
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